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Look at me mom, I’m walking!

Kind of walking, but still! So exciting! Annabelle has been pulling up for a LONG time now and crawling around on her belly for so long that I might have gone a little overboard with the crossing the midline excercises. I thought that might encourage her to crawl. Or at least help her little brain form connections. Annabelle finally decided to crawl on her hands and knees and about two weeks later discovered that if she pulls herself up on the couch and moves her little feet while holding on she can get to where she wants to go.

Amazing how a little baby step (literally) can fill you with such overwhelming emotion. I wanted to cry. Sometimes I still want to cry because it’s just an overwhelming amount of love. I always thought I’d have at least 2 babies. Until doctors started telling me that I probably wouldn’t be having any then I started my own stinking thinking and thought for sure I wouldn’t be a momma. But HA! I followed my own advice on diet and nutrition and ate myself fertile. But then I went through pregnancy. I was not a happy glowing energetic mother to be. I was nauseous, the only thing that helped was carbs, so I put on 10lbs in the first trimester. Yuck. And then I got Braxton Hicks every time I tried to do any cardio, walking, elliptical, stair master… you name it I couldn’t do it.

So besides the amazing feeling that comes with knowing that you’re growing a little person I didn’t really enjoy pregnancy. I thought for sure I wouldn’t want to go through another pregnancy. But yes, it’s all worth it. At some point in time in the midst of all the love and sleep deprivation I thought I should have 10 more babies because they’re so fabulous. But now it’s so hard to imagine loving anyone else as much as I love Annabelle. I’ve uttered the words ‘I love you with every inch of my soul and every fiber of my being’ before. But until I said those words to Annabelle I never really meant them. Dropping her off on my way to work every morning hasn’t gotten any easier and I dread every leaving her. It just doesn’t seem possible to be able to love another human being this much. I hear that when you have your second child you love them just as much. What a concept. It’s truly amazing what we human beings are capable of and how much love we can carry in our hearts and souls. Hopefully one day I’ll experience it. For now all I want to do is love my Annabelle.


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