Confessions of a Crunchy Mom

Some think of me as crunchy and some think of me as a little bit hippie but at the end of the day I’m just a mom trying to do the best I can. For the most part I think I’m a pretty good mom and I willingly accept the compliment because I work my butt off to be a good mom – I don’t know any mother that doesn’t. I also love being crunchy, it keeps me healthy and happy and I know I’m doing everything I can to increase my daughters chances for radiant health but sometimes I wish I wasn’t so darn crunchy. Sometimes I wish I could be a little soggy, and just not care so much. Maybe sit down to a meal without thinking about how it was made or giving my toddler some tylenol for a fever instead of knowing there’s corn syrup in it and pulling out essential oils and coconut oil in the middle of the night.

These are some of the things I think about…

1. Sometimes I wish I didn’t know as much as I do about food. Because sometimes I’m tired, and it’s late and I don’t want to cook and deal with the cleaning that comes with it and I just wish I could stop at any one of million fast food places on my way home and just grab a burger, or some chicken nuggets. But I can’t. Because I know too much about what’s in them and how they’re made and the thought of feeding any fast food to my daughter makes me sick to my stomach. That and the fact that there’s about 3 restaurants where I live that use ingredients I feel good about feeding my family. By that I mean organic, locally sourced, grass fed – and they’re expensive. It makes going out to eat really difficult but again, the thought of rubbery hormone filled chicken gives me nightmares.

2. At times I want to hide in the closet and cry. Parenting is hard wether your crunchy or not. I too lose my patience and when I think I’m going to snap I usually am pretty good at remembering who’s watching me and she’s learning about how to act from how I react under pressure, stress, exhaustion and 9 out of ten times I can regain my composure but sometimes I want to hide in the closet and cry. Or hide in the pantry and eat junk – lucky for me the closest thing to junk in our pantry is the occasional plantain chip or gluten free cookie that’s probably stale.

3. I want to create my own island. Preferably an island because of the beach and the sunshine but anywhere really where the people that live there care about the food they put in their bodies, the chemicals they put on their skin and the toxins everywhere else around them. I’m tired of being looked at like I have 5 heads because I prefer my daughter not eat processed food, and when she does it’s gluten free, organic. I don’t want to explain why I don’t want her to eat goldfish or mac and cheese, or juice. I want it to just be common knowledge that the stuff’ll kill ya and it’s better to just stay away from it.

4. I’m happy that Annabelle tells daddy his food is yucky. I’ve unsuccessfully been trying to convince my husband to stop drinking soda ever since I met him and although he’s cut down i just can’t pry it out of his big bear grip. It’s beyond frustrating that someone I love so much and knows that it’s bad for you just keeps drinking it and I’m glad to have a sidekick who has on occasion seen daddy eat brightly colored sour punch straws and told his to throw it in the trash because it’s yucky for his tummy.

5. Food allergies make my life easier. Annabelle has terrible eczema  and chronic runny nose when she eats wheat, most dairy and corn. I can immediatley tell when she’s eaten something she wasn’t supposed to because it’ll start as chicken skin on the left side of her tummy. When we go to birthday parties we have to bring our own snacks and cupcakes which are made from the best quality ingredients I can find. Asking people if it’s ok for me to bring her own snacks and cupcake because she has food allergies is socially acceptable nowadays because of all the food allergies (ever wonder if something in the food has changed to cause so many food allergies?…gmos…). Asking people if we can bring our own snacks because I don’t want my daughter to eat the highly processed crap you may be serving that is probably loaded with corn syrup, food dye and who knows what else probably wouldn’t go over as well. Plenty of people serve healthy snacks at kids parties – plenty of serve junk.

6. I wish we lived in a world without computers. I wish more schools cared about teaching kids about nature, emotions, feelings, what to do when we have feelings, how to act in different social situations, how to share, how to be kind, how to work in groups instead of focusing on having kids as young as 4 years old taking some ridiculous test on a computer. Yes, my daughter will have to learn how to use a computer but I absolutely don’t think she needs to start sitting in front of it until she’s older. much older.

7. Sometimes my daughter tells me to put my phone down. Technology is a beast that likes to be everywhere, all the time. Nowadays business is all about social media. If you’re not on facebook, twitter, instagram and who knows what else you wont’ be in peoples heads – the people that are always posting stuff are the ones that stick out in our heads because they’re bombarding us. In a world where for business I have to keep up with social media as much as I can I have been told by my two year old “mommy put your phone down now and come play with me”. That is heartbreaking and has made me more conscious of putting my phone down more and more and focusing on enjoying the moment. I can tweet when she’s 4 and in school more or when she’s too old to want to hang out with mommy. I dont’ want her memories of playing with mommy to have an iphone in them.

8. Every once in a while I’d like my daughter to watch T.V. Annabelle didn’t watch any TV at all until she was 18 months old, for the next 6 months she would maybe watch something if we were having dinner somewhere and the TV was turned on or one of her playdate buddies was watching something but never at home. She started watching once or twice a week when she turned two and now at 31 months she maybe watches 2 hours of TV a week total. So when mommy really needs a break or wants to get something done or maybe just take a shower without a little person next to me, and I decide it would be really nice to have 25 minutes of silence and I say “do you want to watch a TV show?” the answer is not always yes. Sometimes, no matter how much I just want her to stare at the television screen and not move for a little while she just doesn’t want to.

9. I’ve used chocolate as a bribe.Yup. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Granted it is organic, dark chocolate that comes in the tiniest squares imaginable but it’s still a chocolate bribe.

10. I love shopping at Ann Taylor Loft, J. Crew, H&M and if I had my pre-pregnancy body back I’d probably have to make a trip to Bebe (but maybe not – it’s been a minute.. or 4 years since I’ve gone in one) and I wear pumas, a lot.  Not crunchy at all. Chances are you wouldn’t think I was so crunchy based on looks alone. Unless you catch me on a day where I’m wearing a hippie skirt,  tank top and have my hair in a braid… that happens on occasion too. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.

11. I watch reality TV. I love Bravo. I tivo it all, every house wives show, every million dollar listing and every millionaire matchmaker and for about an hour after Annabelle goes to bed I sit and numb my brain cells with the stupidest of reality TV. The stupider the better.

12. I didn’t let Annabelle self-wean. I know my body well enough to know that my hormones were all out of whack, it was making me a little sick, a little run down and I didn’t lose a damn pound while breastfeeding and I really just wanted to feel good again and begin getting my body back. I wanted nothing more than for her to self wean but at 24 months she was showing no signs of wanting to give it up so I slowly started weaning her and it was almost torturous to take away from her something that I know she wanted so bad and I could so easily give her but at 25 months she nursed for the last time. And sometimes I wish I could still nurse her.

13. I love cheetos and lays potato chips. I really do. I couldn’t tell you when I had them last, probably over a year, but there’s something about those two things that I just love. The fake, artificial tasting cheese, the feel of grease on your hands from the potato chips. I may be tempted should I be somewhere with them laying around but I just can’t bring myself to buy them.  Nowadays I’d rather buy organic cheese curls and avocado oil potato chips.

14. I dye my hair. Not with henna. With Clairol, from a box. And I do it myself because I’m cheap.

15. I don’t have a green thumb. I’ve tried planting flowers and lettuce and neither survived. I either over or under water – I even killed a tree during a hot Texas summer.

16. I drink coffee every single morning. It’s the first thing I put in my belly (besides water) and I have no intentions of giving it up.

Ok crunchy moms that read my blog, what are your confessions?